“I need to stop doing Facebook and start doing Jesus,” said Kerry, on needing to plan her CCD lesson. Then she realized what she said.
I hope that the phrase “the shit hit the fan” didn’t originate from someone learning what that’s like firsthand.
My fiancé has pointed out that if I substituted a Y for an L, my first name would be “Yeah.” I’d be “Yeah, Budin!”
My dog makes nests for himself out of my stuff. This time it’s my jacket, my football jersey, and, for some reason, my sketchbook.
My fiancé’s roller derby name would be “Helen Killer.” My roller derby name would be “Maude Zilla.” Whip It, BTW, rocked.
Shaqtus: “A large thorny plant indigenous to San Antonio, Texas… known to emit water, awesome, and poor free throw skills.”
Steve says asthma + apathy = asthmathy. Finally — a concrete reason I’m not cut out for the military.
RT @DesignAsh I enjoy seasonal foods at the peak of their freshness. And this is candy corn season.
I love it when the alumna cougars come out dancing on football weekends. Doubly funny because a mountain (Nittany) lion is the PSU mascot.
“Is Jay-Z still dating Beyoncé?” “They’re married.” “How am I supposed to know that? I’m gay!” “Gays love Beyoncé! AND tabloids!”
